We finally had our performance of Haydn’s Nelson Mass and Bruckner’s Te Deum today! We had free time until we headed to the rehearsal in the afternoon, so I spent my morning getting espresso and perusing a nearby bookstore. The bookstore was huge and even had piano sheet music, so I got a collection of Mendelssohn’s Lieder Ohne Worte (Songs Without Words) for only 12,000 won (about $9 USD). While Mendelssohn is perhaps best-known for his choral-orchestral masterpiece Elijah and lots of other large-scale works, his piano music is exquisite as well, and I was fortunate enough to play of few of them in my undergraduate piano lessons with Dr. Anna Petrova at UofL.
The concert was at Yonsei University’s Centennial Hall, and when we arrived, we had a dress rehearsal from 3:00-5:00 or so. Both pieces are very vocally-demanding, so we’ve been watching our voices in rehearsal all week but we were eager to go full force for the concert. The concert started at 7:30 with a 7:20 call, so Amelia and I went to Yonsei’s bookstore to kill time and I bought a baseball jersey! As I’ve mentioned in earlier blogs Yonsei is my conducting teacher Dr. Ahn’s alma mater, so I’m happy to represent them. We also got some delicious chicken caesar salad wraps in their student center before we returned to the concert hall.
Over the course of a long performance, it’s easy for the mind to wander. There are sections of pieces where you may not sing for 10+ bars, and it’s easy to get caught up listening to the beauty of the orchestra or other parts when you’re not singing. For me, the performance felt almost like an out of body experience because I was aware the entire time that it was my final performance as a member of the Cardinal Singers. Nevertheless, I resolved myself to not take a single note for granted, and I think other graduating singers shared the same sentiment. Both pieces went wonderfully, with Dr. Hatteberg conducting the Nelson Mass and Dr. Kim conducting the Te Deum. Both are masterworks, but the Te Deum and the music of Anton Bruckner holds a particularly deep place in my heart.
Famously self-doubting yet brilliant, Bruckner was an insular man whose conviction and passion for his Christian faith shines radiantly through his music. The entire text of the Te Deum is a hymn of praise dating back to approximately 500 A.D., but the last line of the prayer is my favorite. The prayer reads “In te, Dómine, sperávi: non confúndar in ætérnum,” which translates as “O Lord, in thee have I trusted: let me never be confounded.” This section of the work features some of Bruckner’s finest writing as he seamlessly weaves between tonal centers painting the confusion mentioned while also building and building towards the ultimate divinely-secured triumph and joy that comprises the heart of the Te Deum.
As I sang this section, all I could think about was how lucky I felt. In a world ever more confounding, I struggle to articulate exactly why I sing, but I know this: when I sing, I am never confounded. Cardinal John Henry Newman once wrote that “God has created me to do him some definite service; He has committed some work to me which he has not committed to another. I have my mission; I never may know it in this life, but I shall be told it in the next. I have a part in a great work; I am a link in a chain, a bond of connection between persons. He has not created me for naught.” In my opinion, there is no better place to be assured of your part in a “great work,” feel as a “link in a chain,” or be assured of a “bond of connection” than in a choral ensemble. Our isolated world needs a collective realization of our divinely-willed common humanity, and making music together forms a perpetual light that shall not be extinguished, neither from this world nor the next. When I sing, I remember that “I am not created for naught,” and above all, I hope that my six years in Cardinal Singers have helped audience members feel that same assurance.
After the concert, we had a get-together catered at a nearby restaurant with fried chicken. After months of hard work and preparation and several long rehearsals this week, it was lovely to celebrate the fruits of our labor together to close out the trip. We had a private basement room in the restaurant, and we even sang a few more songs together before we called it a night. Tomorrow, we have a free day to rest, relax, and begin packing before we depart on Saturday. Thank you for reading!
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